SIGNAL DI PLANE!

Greetings Citizens of Chocko-Blocko. After all that drama on the way too Airport to collect my Uncle Chester, with my mum getting a ticket for driving to slow on the Freeway and Dad being arrested by the same office for being rude, it's looks like my Uncle Chester is is about to encounter his own problems on the flight. Read on. 

Cut to:

Int: Air Jamaica, Airbus A340. 10:00am

FLIGHT CAPTAIN(VO).

“Ladies and Gentlemen thanks for flying Air Jamaica. Flight Attendants please prepare for Landing.”

Alarmed by the Captain’s promptitude my Uncle Chester’s future intended Wife Mampie panicked. Mampie suffered from illiteracy and couldn’t fill out her Customs and Visa forms. During the 10 hour fight Uncle Chester had devoured 2 bottles of Champagne, 1 bottle of White Rum and 25 Red-Stripes. Deep Sleep was his only option.

 

Cut to: Con't

Int: Air Jamaica, Airbus A340. 10:15am

FLIGHT CAPTAIN(VO).

“Ladies and Gentlemen air traffic control has notified me that there will be a slight delay.”

AIR HOSTESS(VO).

“Passengers please make sure your Visa and Customs forms are completed correctly.”

Excessive amounts of sweat began to gush from Mampie’s armpits and Forehead. How was she going to wake the drunken comatose Uncle Chester? When your Raised in the ghetto’s of Kingston and you have problems sometimes the only option is violence.

 

To Be Con't.

INTER-GALACTIC LEG-MAN! (Part 1).

Cheers Citizens of Chocko-Blocko! Uncle Chester here and Inter-Galactic Leg Man Business is I-man Game. Yea dats rights I-man deal wid Raw-Chaw World News. Most news permeates from ah rum-bar and todays edition is beamed live and direct from ah little Palm-Wine Bar five minutes from Ozzie-Man Bin Laden lavish crib in di heart of Abbottaba. 
Dub-Dub Ali Moser has owned "Palm-Fan-Fan-Oasis" Bar for 20 years and dis is the story he told your truly......
"F-----K me! Sorry for swearing Allah, but I've had too many-many Palm wines....'Burp-Burp'.... Ozzie Bin Laden was one of my best costumers. Yea he used to drink in here with some local Al-Qaeda bad boys and Pakistani Army Generals. The Bloody Army General always got out of hand due to there excessive intake of Johnny Walker Whiskey. Now we have it from a good source that one of the Al-Qaeda chaps was a undercover CIA agent, also hours before Ozzie was in my Bar drinking Palm Wine with pretty Blond who we're told was also a undercover CIA male agent in Drag....Can you Bloody believe that? Ozzie left staggering hugging this Drag artiste vowing to make her his 20th wife."

I-man decided to stop Dub-Dub because that type of False inflammatory information could cause dis ya Inter-Galactic Leg-Man a hole heap of trouble!!!!!

"Dub-Dub were running out of time but could you tell us was if Mr Bin Laden attempted to resist being captured?"

Dub-Dub replied, "Are you Bloody crazy Chester? How can a Man resist being captured by ten highly trained USA Navy-Whales with only one Sliver-tooth and an 10 inch Erection.........."

Well Citizens of Chocko-Blocko there you have it from a reputed champion Bar owner in Abbottaba of what he believes happened that fateful day. Cheers! Drink-up and drive home safely this is Uncle Chester your Inter-Galactic Leg-Man.